Two drunks enter a hotel late at night. They approach the night-clerk, and one of them says, “Could you please give us a bed with two rooms?”
“You mean a room with two beds?” asks the clerk. “Whatever, whatever you say.”
So they get a key and somehow to stumble upstairs to their room.
Two drunks enter a hotel late at night. They approach the night-clerk, and one of them says, “Could you please give us a bed with two rooms?”
“You mean a room with two beds?” asks the clerk. “Whatever, whatever you say.”
So they get a key and somehow to stumble upstairs to their room.
After fumbling for ten minutes, they even manage to get their door open.
As they stumble inside, the door closes behind them and they are in total darkness. They go forward slowly, and both fail on the bed closest to the door.
“Ahh,” says one, “Now we can get some sleep at last.” As they try to rearrange themselves, they suddenly realize that they are not alone in their bed. “Hey!
There’s somebody in my bed!” says one of them
“There’s somebody in my bed too!” says the other.
“Let’s get rid of them. We paid for this room and we’re going to sleep in the beds!” says the first. They start a tremendous struggle.
They heave and push until eventually one of them throws the other on the floor.
“ALL RIGHT!!” he shouts, “I’ve thrown mind off the bed.”
“You are lucky,” says other, “ I got thrown off and I’m too tired to flight any more.”
“Well, never mind,” says the first, “Why don’t you just come and share my bed. Let’s get some sleep round here.”
A guy walks into an antique store
and buys a grandfather clock, he walks out of the shop with it and accidentally walks into a drunk guy.
(they both fall over and the clock gets smashed to bits)
The guy says to the drunk, “Why don’t you watch where your going?” and the drunk says, “Why don’t you carry a wrist watch like everybody else?”
A policeman stops two drunks and asks one, “Where do you live?”
“Nowhere”, the first drunk replied. “And where do you live?”, he asks the other.
“We’re neighbours.”
Two drunks are walking along.
One drunk says to the other, “What a beautiful night, look at the moon.”
The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend. “You’re wrong, that’s not the moon, that’s the sun.”
They began to argue when they come upon another drunk. They asked, “Sir, could you please help settle our argument?
Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that’s shining.
Is it the moon or the sun?”
The third drunk looked at the sky and said, “Sorry, I don’t live around here.”
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A police car pulled up in front of Grandma Bessie’s house
A police car pulled up in front of Grandma Bessie’s house, and out stepped Grandpa Morris. The officer politely explained, “Ma’am, your husband said he got lost in the park and couldn’t find his way home.”
Grandma Bessie stared at Morris and said, “Lost?
You’ve been going to that park for 30 years! How’d you get lost today?”
Leaning in close so the officer couldn’t hear, Grandpa whispered, “I wasn’t lost.
I was just too tired to walk home.”
A policeman pulls over an old man driving a pickup truck
A policeman pulls over an old man driving a pickup truck with the bed overflowing with ducks.
The officer says sternly, “Sir, you can’t have a flock of ducks wandering around downtown. Take them to the zoo immediately!”
The old man nods, agrees, and drives off. The next day, the officer spots the same pickup truck, still full of ducks—but this time, all the ducks are wearing sunglasses.